Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Best Friends and Heartbreak

I'm so heartbroken. Mom is not well at all. She is still at my house b/c my sister's house was still being unpacked. Sunday mom had an awesome day. She was awake and alert all day. She had said she was ready to go home to Monica's house so my brother and I went over to try to help Monica get her room ready to receive her back home.
Sunday night she started this really bizarre-sounding breathing. It wasn't like an asthma attack, but that's the only way I know to describe it to someone else. My stepfather and I finally got her to calm down after about an hour-and-a-half. She slept great the rest of the night. I got up and ready for work yesterday and when I went in her room to give her morning meds she looked horrible. I couldn't leave her like that so my sister, C.C. called the nurse. Mom's nurse got here around 9:45am and told us that her resting O2 sat was 84. When she stood (with a lot of help) it went down to 70. We were told that she had tops 2 weeks, but probably less than a week would be more like it.
Mom is and has always been my best friend. My husband is too, but there is nobody like my mama. We planned for her to spend the last days of her life at Monica's where she has been for 2 years, but we couldn't move her yesterday. God's plan is always better. Even though that isn't what we had planned for, it is much better for her to be at my house so she can be with ALL of us. She is getting round the clock morphine and anxiety meds.
I know I serve a BIG God. My strength only comes from Him, but I can't imagine my life without my best friend. My heart feels like it is breaking in to. I'm going to try to focus on the good memories with mom. We went camping together back in November and we had a great time. I don't want mom to struggle to breathe. I want her to go to Heaven peacefully. Please pray for that for me. My uncle Mike (mom's only living brother) was really sick in Nov. and was in ICU on a vent for about 10 days. He is going to try to come down from Virginia on Friday. I bet mom will try to hang on until she sees him. He has COPD really bad too.
I love my mama. I thank God every day that he gave her to me as a mother. It won't be the same without her, but I know I will never say goodbye. I'll see her again one day.

Heartbroken,
Wendy

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