WE ARE LEAVING ON AN AIRPLANE!

Tori-bug and I are getting so excited about our trip to Haiti. We leave in 28 days!! Woohoo!! I can't wait to see all the kids at the orphanage and I am excited to see how Tori-bug interacts with kids way less fortunate than she is. I think it will make her to have an even bigger heart than she already does. She said she was willing to give up her Christmas presents for the chance to go.

I was really nervous about taking her with me to begin with b/c she is so young. I didn't want to overwhelm her with the sites of pure devastation, but after we prayed about it, we felt like God wanted this opportunity for her. I didn't do any fundraising this trip (warning..... you will probably be getting a support letter for us to go back in May..lol) so coming up with two full price tickets was a big deal. When Tori-bug found out that it costs so much she said she will give up all her Christmas to be able to see these kids and take THEM Christmas. What a sweetheart! Isn't that what we want our kids to know about the true meaning of Christmas anyway? It's not about them getting, but giving to others like Jesus Christ did for us. This will be a great learning moment for her and she will never forget it. All 127 kids were sponsored for Christmas. Thank you, Jesus. What a blessing! Another friend, Amber is going with us too so this will be her first trip and I believe her first mission experience. Hopefully between the three of us, we will be able to make a difference for the few short days we are there. Please be in prayer with us for safe travels, safety while we are there, and an experience like no other. May those kids experience the true gift of Christ through us three girls.

Wendy

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

Here are some of our pics from Haiti. I wanted you to be able to put a face with a name. The boy to Kevin's right (in the black shirt) is Tirelli. He had just turned 15 when we were there. He never left Kevin's side the entire time. Most of the kids in the orphanage don't act their stated age. Some don't even know their age. He is 15, but acts more like 11-12. They just don't have the same socialization that our kids have. Tirelli wants to be an interpreter when he grows up. A very good career that could be. He speaks English pretty well and definitely understands a lot of English. I would venture to say that more than half of the kids can speak English fairly well inside this orphanage. Most of the older kids can speak it and understand at least some. The younger kids, not so much. When you first get to Haiti they won't open up to you very much. They are leary about you, but when you show up several days in a row they start to share with you and become comfortable. The older kids usually don't think they will ever see you again so they have a harder time opening up to you. I told them that I would be back. They will be thrilled when they see a familiar face again in December. It is so hard to leave them. At least I will be able to tell them I will be back again at the end of May. I honestly never thought I would like doing this kind of thing when we first decided to go. Now, my heart is so invested in these kids. I think about them constantly and worry over what they are doing and how they are getting along. I worry about the money and them having their basic needs met. It makes me want to send every extra dime I have to them. I am not a rich woman by American standards and I don't have a lot of money, but I have SOOO much more than they do. I know that my $30 a month is truly being spent to feed, clothe, and educate them. I feel so strongly in the mission that Melissa is running and I know what a great job she is doing so sending my support to help a child every month is easy for me. Who doesn't waste $30 a month on stuff we really don't need? $30 a month goes a LONG way in Haiti if you get it to the right people.

This picture was taken at the team house. We stayed in a very nice house by Haitian standards. We had clean facilities, bathrooms with showers, stove, refrigerator, and freezer. We ate EXTREMELY well. Full breakfast (eggs, bacon, blueberry pancakes, juice, and oatmeal every morning. Mikela (in the middle next to Melissa, who is holding baby Leekson) is the team house mom. The average life expectancy in Haiti is like 45. Scary isn't it?? Mikela cooked and cleaned for us three meals a day and did our laundry (with the help of the other two young ladies in the picture- Yprolin (holding Takesha) and Woodland). Yprolin lives at the orphanage and she helps a lot to look after Leekson and Takesha. She brings them back and forth from the orphanage to the team house when there is a team there. These two young ladies are 18-19 years old and have lived a lifetime already. Mikela is 42 I think they said. Neither of them speak much English. Woodland has lost both her mom and dad. She was the young lady crying that Sunday when we came home from the beach (I think I wrote about that story). When I finally figured out why she was crying (b/c she doesn't speak English) it was because it was Mother's Day in Haiti and she missed her mother. I had just lost my mom 2 months prior to our trip so I sat down and boohooed with her. We used a whole roll of toilet paper, but we bonded without words. I love that girl. Please say a prayer for her. She is having a difficult time at present. I hope I can dig a little deeper into this situation when I return in December.

Something I recently found out is that once a child turns 16 they are no longer adoptable. Not sure why that is, but that is the way the Haitian government runs things. We are hoping that the new president will relax some of the laws in Haiti so that some of the kids could get a temporary visa and passport so they could come go to school in America or at least come visit. How they expect these kids to learn a new way of life and take it back to their country to teach others is beyond me? I am hoping we can get Melissa's orphanage some chickens (laying hens) when I go in December too so they can at least have protein in their diet once a week or so. They used to have some laying hens, but once they get to about a year of age they stop producing eggs so they ate them. They need more. Also, prior to Amber and I going in Dec. I am going to learn how to milk a goat so they can milk the goats they have for calcium. They do have several goats running around inside the orphanage, they just don't know how to milk them. I'm making it my personal mission to learn how, teach them how, and see what happens :-). That ought to be fun!! Lol. Anybody wanting to help me by purchasing a chicken- they cost $10 each and if you know how to milk a goat and are willing to teach me, hit me up!!!

Derline is my girl! Don't know why I didn't get Kevin to take mine and her picture, but she is the young girl in the pink dress. She is the same age as my Tori-bug. She is a fiesty little thing that is all attitude. She wouldn't let anyone get near me the whole 9 days. She said I was hers. Well, besides Dieunor (pronounced Juno). Dieunor is in the looney tunes shirt. This was at church on Sunday morning. Dieunor is a very sweet, mild mannered boy that is being sponsored by my friend Mama Nell. Sonson is in the orange shirt and is being sponsored by my friend Linda Gail.

We have all these little guys in the above picture sponsored monthly and for Christmas. Want to help? There are still things you can do!

God bless you all!

Wendy

It's been a while!

You know what they say....... Time flies when you are having fun!

I haven't updated this blog in a long time partly b/c my laptop was down for over a month back in June and July. The days just seem to pass by lately is the only other excuse I have. Everything has been going great. I never finished my journaling from Haiti. I already have plans to return next year May 29th. I am also now sponsoring the two children that Kevin and I connected with while we were there. Derline is a precious 11 year old girl that I fell in love with. Kevin is sponsoring Alteus St. Claire, aka "Tirelli". That is not at all how his name is spelled, but that is how they say it. Derline's name sounds like "Daylynn". Tirelli is 15-years-old and a very sweet kid too. Imagine Missions started a Christmas sponsorship program too where you select a child or in our case the child we sponsor monthly and you buy Christmas for them. They sent us a small wish list of things that they would like to have. There is no mail system in Haiti so everything has to be sent via Melissa Young, who runs the orphanage. Somehow she has to get all 127 kids gifts to them so I decided that I would make a very short Christmas visit in early December. My friend is going to go with me and I'm seriously considering letting Tori-bug (my 11-yr-old) go too. That way we can take the 11 children that we have gotten sponsored locally to them before Christmas. I think my friend Amber is going to fall in love with Haiti just like I did. Hopefully, she will want to go back with us for our regular mission trip at the end of May. My baby girl is dying to meet Derline so I am praying about letting her go for this very short trip. We will fly down on Thursday and fly back home on Sunday. I feel safe enough for her to make the trip, but it is very costly---- $600 for just a plane ticket for 4 days. I will have to see if I can come up with the money for the both of us to see if I can make it happen. She says she is even willing to request her Christmas gifts from grandparents, family, etc. be money instead of gifts so she could go.

Tori-bug is gearing up for gymnastics season to begin. She told me a couple of months ago that she didn't want to compete this year. She loves gymnastics, but for some reason didn't want to compete. She was back and forth, back and forth, then finally said last week that she didn't want to compete. I was a little bummed out b/c she is so good at gymnastics that I didn't want her to regret her decision. The first competition fee installment was due last Thursday and she tells me on Wed. night that she didn't want to compete so I didn't pay it. Last night (Thursday this week) she says she DOES want to compete. I texted her coach and asked if it was too late to pay the fee and she said she would let me pay it so now we are back to competing. I am so happy. They had a mini-meet at practice yesterday and she looked so good. Her kips on bars are still a little off, but we don't have our first meet until December so she has time to get it together.

I continue to miss mom horribly. The days are better now though. I don't have that extremely raw feeling in my heart anymore. I think about her constantly and I have to smile every time I go by a Chick-fil-A or if I eat there. Mama LOVED Chick-fil-A. Six months seems like a lifetime without her, but I know she is dancing in heaven with Jesus. A friend of ours lost her mom about 2 weeks ago and it brought back so many memories when I attended the funeral. Hopefully, I can help others that are now going to be living without their moms now too. Nobody understands that feeling unless they have been through it.

Well, thanks for checking in with me! No telling when I will update again so I won't even begin to make promises :-)

God Bless!
Wendy

Hait- day 4 Saturday May 28, 2011

Well, well, well. They didn't finish the concrete inside the house last night. They were only able to get 3/4 of the front room done. A teenager that went with us had me awake most of the night (it's a long story) so I got back to bed about 3:30am. I'm exhausted! My energy is not up today. We went over to the house to start sifting sand again and the girls started painting. They were able to get the back room done. Hopefully the guys will be able to start on the outside after lunch. Us girls are going to go over and start handing out the shoes. Lillie and Emily went to finish sorting out the storage room this morning b/c Lillie is one-handed now :-(
We are home for lunch at the moment. Hot dogs and mac 'n cheese.

Saturday night

The boys were able to finish the second room with stucco. We went over to the orphanage to pass out shoes. That was priceless!! We brought them in a few at a time and sized them. They also got a toothbrush and a pack of toothpaste. It was interesting b/c some of the kids were being picky about what shoes they got, but most of them were okay.. The older girls wanted nice church shoes/sandals. The older boys also got a Galilee Mission Run shirt. The older boys like tennis shoes.
We were also throwing a birthday part for the "May" birthdays. We had about 6 different kinds of cakes and some juice. The 11 kids who were celebrating their birthday got 3 items as a gift. We had wrapped them in plastic disposable colored tablecloths. What was funny is the kids don't really know their birthday so when they come in and see a gift with their name on it, they figure out it must have been their birthday that month. It is cute to see their face light up and them say, "It's my birthday".
Melissa is doing a fabulous work here. She really is. Her funding is not at all what she needs and it frustrates her to be able to keep up with everything that needs to be done. Example: 2 flat tires and a battery on our first day here. On the second day, one sink and one toilet wasn't working. Both the refrigerators (in the team house and the orphanage) went out the third day and yesterday (day 4) we noticed the drains in the kitchen at the orphanage weren't draining properly. It is really burdening me to know that this awesome lady is trying to keep this place running. I'm gonna ask all my Facebook friends to sponsor a child. Only 75 kids to go!!
An ER doctor from Canada came yesterday to tour the orphanage. He is connected to two very wealthy men who had been supporting an orphanage in Ethiopia. The person running that orphanage was misusing the funds and was put in prison so now they are thinking of supporting Melissa. That would be way awesome. Every dime goes to the kids. She will tell you all of her budget and where your money is going. People really do want to know where their money is going to want to sponsor. I assure you, she is doing right by it.

Friday 5/27/11 10:45pm

We started the day today taking shoes over to the orphanage. We organized them on the shelves in the storage room. It looked like we had about 200 pairs of shoes. Tomorrow we are going to bring the kids in 4-5 at a time to size them. The older boys are also gonna get a Galilee Mission Run t-shirt (a mission run that raised money for us to take over there). We also have to celebrate May birthdays tomorrow so we were able to wrap up a few things for the ones celebrating their birthday. We will have a big birthday party- even cake (gato)!! Today the boys continued the work on the house. Sifting sand, mixing concrete, and putting stucco up on the walls. They got the inside walls done today.

"Finnie" (FINISH!!!)

We will be able to start painting the inside tomorrow. We ate a good dinner tonight of white rice, sausage, and bread. After dinner, Lillie fell out of a chair (it broke) and sliced her hand open on a glass Sprite bottle. We quickly took her to Open Hands Hospital in Port-Au-Prince for stitches. She had to get 9 stitches!! We joked with her that was one for every day that she was here. She would always remember Haiti!! It was a little harrowing trying to get to the hospital, but once we got there- it was all American run staff. The physician was Angelia and she was from Manhattan. They even had LIDOCAINE!! Thank God for lidocaine!! Everybody at the hospital was phenomenal.

Now we are ready for bed!!!

Thursday- 8:30pm

This young lady is the only person near this house (young or old) that actually picked up a shovel and helped us.

Our first church service at the orphanage. It was awesome. The guys had been working outside in the heat all day, but the kids didn't care that they were hot and sweaty.

Etalin in front of her home prior to the renovation. Etalin works as a cook at the orphanage, but she lives in a little small community just down the road from the orphanage. She earns $37/mth. for her work at the orphanage!

This is a small child that lived behind Etalin. I'm not sure if he was family or not, but seeing this child was extremely hard for me.

Getting started on Etalin's house.

WHEW!! Today has been so physically hard! We didn't sleep well last night. It seemed like half the house was awake. Mainly Emily! She couldn't fall asleep for some reason. Cheryl was digging around in the bag looking for her some Melatonin. I was up at 5:00am anyways.

We went over to Etalin's house to work early this morning after eating scones, bacon, eggs, and fresh mango. We had to sift sand- a 2-part process. Once to get out the big rocks then again with a smaller sifter to get even smaller rocks and sand. They use a very fine sand to make stucco to put inside and outside the house before painting. Her house is going to be pink! The men worked hard and put up a tin roof today too. What was amazing was that there were probably 25 men looking/standing around watching all the women and girls work. This was BACK-BREAKING, very physical labor we were doing!! One very small girl, who looked to be 8-10 years old picked up a shovel and started helping us throw the gravel into the water holes while all the strapping, young men watched. It was crazy!! I rewarded her with bugspray. Bugspray is a huge commodity here. Everyone wants it, but nobody can afford to buy it!! It costs $14 a bottle. I also coated all the little ones around there. The mamas were wiping it off the children to put some on themselves.


Leave me comments to let me know you came by my page. I'm hoping you can get a glimpse into my experience through my journal.

Wednesday- May 25, 2011

The room where I slept- on the floor, on a twin mattress BUT we did have a toilet, a shower, GREAT food, and mostly mosquito-free!!

Animals roam free all over Haiti. Here is a pig and a goat right outside the team house gate.

Lillie posing with some of her kids the very first time meeting them. The little one she is holding is Shadline. She's 3 years old. Precious!!

Kevin meeting Sonson and Terelli (Alteus St.Claire or Tirene). For some reason he is called Terelli. He has just turned 15. Sonson I believe is 10. Also, they write their last name first so Terelli's first name is St.Claire and his last name is Alteus.

My new friends John (in the red) and Kenson (in the blue). John is 10 and Kenson was 8 or 9 I believe. John will be my best friends son's penpal. They love to write letters and most of them can speak/write English well. Most of the boys have ringworm/fungus on their heads, but we had their heads shaved and treated it so hopefully this will get better.

Here's my journal entry for this day:

Waking up my first morning in Haiti. I actually woke up at 3:30am and have been awake ever since. It's now 5:00am and the sun is already up, shining thru the bedroom window. The rest of the house is quiet except Lillie- she's awake too. Melissa tells us that they start their day really early here and they finish their school and outside work by about noontime because it is so hot.

Thankfully so far I haven't gotten any mosquito bites. I'm sure that will change!!

Our plans today are to help repair a house for one of the ladies that works at the orphanage. She cooks and does some laundry there. She lives in a little village right outside the orphanage. She makes $37 a month for her work at the orphanage. The team house is about 1/2 mile down the road from the orphanage. This lady is living in a small house with no doors on the house, a tarp over the top for a roof and just 2 rooms. We haven't been there yet so I'm not sure yet- this is the info. Melissa gave us.

I need to take some pictures today on my phone so I can post them on my FB. When we walked over to the orphanage yesterday to visit the kids, it was overwhelming. 127 kids living behind a gate that resembles a compound or a prison. There are several buildings with an open courtyard in the middle. I drew a picture of the grounds in my journal, but I can't draw it here. They have a big girl's dorm, little girl's dorm (where the babies sleep), cafeteria, elementary school, clinic, food depot, church, sewing room, and a boy's dorm. All of the middle is sand, dirt, and rocks. Oh, standing, stagnant water too. No grass and a very skinny tree.

The kids just flock to you and are literally hanging on your every limb. I had 3 boys- John, Kenson, and Dieunor (pronounced Juno). Also a little girl named Derline (pronounced Daylin). The kids were playing in the water when we arrived and were butt-naked. They were hurriedly putting on their clothes. All of which looked very dirty. Most didn't have on any shoes. On the walk over there people were walking barefoot in the dirt and mud in which the animals and people pee and poop in. By the way, there are a variety of animals that roam free. Goats, pigs, cows, sheep, chickens, and dogs. Melissa says they belong to someone but she doesn't know how they know whose is whose.

John wanted to show me where his bed was, which school room was his, etc. All the kids go to school- even the 3-yr.-olds (there are 2 that live here). Elementary age go on the campus at the orphanage and big kids go to secondary school in town. Until they pass a test, which is a government test they can't go to secondary school, which is like a public school, but you have to pay to go- around $500 a year. Usually by about 12 yrs. old they need to go to secondary school.

All the kids in this orphanage are healthy. Free of diseases, etc. There is a clinic next door to the team house that sees them. That's where Lillie and I will be helping I think (we didn't).

Something interesting I saw yesterday was how the kids groomed and picked each other. A fly or mosquito might have landed on the other one's face and they would smack it off. We joked that you know you are in Haiti when someone slaps you and you say thank you! A stranger stopped our truck yesterday wanting some Gas X and he picked off a mosquito that had landed on Roselle's face like it was nothing. Invading your personal space is very acceptable, I guess.

I can't wait to see what's in store for us today........

Noon the same day

We walked over to the house where we were going to be working. Her name is Etalin. She had a 2 room block house with a little porch (uncovered) on it. Only half the roof was covered with tin, but it's leaking. In the front room was a baker's rack with a small metal bowl on top of it. That's it! Dirt floors. The bedroom had 3 small beds, no windows, and several clothing items (ripped and smelled bad like urine). There were 2 babies in the yard- no diapers and the mom and grandma (Etalin) were using an old piece of cloth swatting the flies off. This has probably been the toughest for me to see. Those 2 babies looked like the postcard for life in Haiti, like something I would have seen on TV. There is no bathroom so the babies just pee or poop in your lap or in the yard. I had a little fan with a water sprayer on it and one of the babies loved it. His name was Joseph. The other baby wouldn't open up to me.

Brian went into town to get supplies while the rest of us took to cleaning out and packing up Etalin's house. We took all the stuff outside and into her sister's house (right in front of her house). After we got that done and while we were waiting on Brian to return and the sand to be delivered we came back to the team house to rest and eat lunch. It was only 9:45am or so and we felt like we had been at it all day. After lunch of hot dogs, mac 'n cheese, left over spaghetti noodles, ham and cheese sandwiches we loaded up and went back to the house to work. They had the sand delivered by this time so we got to work sifting out the big rock and the guys got to working on putting up the trusses on the house. We were to put the big rocks down on the floor of the front room and concrete will go over the top of that. Once we got to the point of getting a base down we (girls) walked to the orphanage. One of the guys standing around outside Etalin's house I nicknamed "Smiley". He was very well dressed and smiled the entire day. I later found out his name was Enud. He really liked Emily. There were several boys around that gawked at us and never did any work. Of course when we got to the orphanage, were were immediately surrounded by "our" kids. Certain kids take possession of you and won't let the others near you hardly. They say, "Wendy mine- NO, NO, NO!!" Kevin was still working at the house so Terelli and Sonson wanted to know where he was and they hung out with me all afternoon.

Derline (Daylin) is a 10-yr-old girl that has the most beautiful complexion. She speaks great English and so does Terelli. We tried to teach the kids how to play Red Rover/Red Rover. They finally got the hang of it- sort of!!

Before we knew it we were all dispersed into little groups. The kids loved seeing pics of Tori on my phone and videos of her gymnastics. I sat down and remembered that I had some games on my phone. They instantly figured out how to play TicTacToe. While I was sitting down the girls took over braiding my hair. They kept saying, "Oh American hair, so hard-different-not braid easy". It actually ended up looking rather good, but I had to endure about an hour of torture. If a strand of hair got left out of the braid the pulled it out of your head!! OUCH!! It was all good though.

I then went to walk around and find everyone else. Lillie had about a million girls in the cafeteria dancing, clapping, and doing the Mac arena in Haitian. The kids actually know a lot of American songs. They even knew "Beat It" by Michael Jackson. Elizabeth was getting her hair plaided (braided) and it looks great. Lillie had hers done too. The girls loved Elizabeth's long hair b/c nobody has long hair here. Hmmm...... maybe I should get them to show me how to braid black people hair so I can do it for Kylee's hair (my niece is bi-racial).

What I learned today.......

1. Haitians love cat meat! They saw a picture of my cats and said, "mmmm" cat tastes so good! Oh how sad! Guess if I was starving I might feel differently too but that just about got to me!

2. The older girls in the mission have very beautiful skin. Maybe it's from all the sweating I've done, but my face has never felt this soft either.

3. Mosquitoes here by the billions and they can bite thru clothes- especially socks. I might have one bite though still. I'm keeping lots of bug spray on.

4. As a general rule, Haitians don't care for the American military. They love Brazil though.

5. They don't know where GA is. They know Miami, Florida and they know Ohio (where Melissa is from), but not GA. I'm gonna try to send a USA map to Melissa for their school.

6. One boy today asked me if I knew Osama Bin Laden and I said yes, he's dead. Our conversation went like this.

Terelli: "You know Osama Bin Laden?"

Me: "Yes, but he's dead"

Terelli: "NO, he's not dead!!"

Me: "Oh yes he is. Americans kill him. Shoot him in head two times"

Terelli: "You see with your eyes?"

Me: "No"

Terelli: "you see on TV?"

Me: "yes"

Terelli: "I like Osama b/c he's my color!"

Me: "Yes, but I like you and you're not my color. It's what is on the inside, not the outside. Osama was evil"

Terelli: "Are you Christian?"

Me: "Oh yes, I'm a Christian.

Terelli: "ME TOO! ME TOO!" (conversation over- haha)

7. The average life expectancy is 45!!

WOW?!? Sorry this entry is so long. Tomorrow's won't be! I promise. Let me know that you were here please. Leave me a comment.

Haiti Mission Trip

Brian- our fearless youth minister and leader. He was an awesome leader and remained calm every step of the way (even though he probably knew I would be way out of my comfort zone). Lol.

Kevin and Brian on the first leg of our journey to Haiti.

The teenagers and Brian in Miami Airport

A view of Haiti from the sky. Wow, our mission is about to begin!

We were responsible for bringing shoes to the 127 kids at the orphanage. I think we probably had over 200 pairs. It was awesome.

We've just returned from our mission trip in Haiti late Thursday night. We had an amazing experience and it was definitely life changing. I am going to blog my journal just like when I was there each day and post pictures.

Here is my first journal entry:

05/23/11

Well, it's the night before my first mission trip to Haiti. I'm laying in the church sanctuary thinking how very blessed I am. I may never have this chance again but if I don't, I can cross it off my bucket list. My feelings tonight are of nervousness, excitement, joy, and a little bit of fear.

I'm sure I'll come home changed, with a renewed sense of accomplishment, that I conquered something else. I hope to come home to my own child with a bigger heart, with more compassion, and a steadfast spirit.

05/24/11 10:00am

I'm on a plane headed to Port-Au-Prince, Haiti. I'm so excited about this opportunity. Brian gave us these journals last night and told us to write down our thoughts and we would be able to go back and reread them some day. You think you won't forget, but I am sure with time, some of the memories will get foggy.

Everything has been very smooth so far. The plane is very full. I'm told we are in for a huge experience and it will be shocking and eye opening. A gentleman on the plane with us is from South Dakota and he has made this journey several times. He is starting a food program called Aquaponics. We have to travel one hour in the back of a pick up truck once we get to Port-Au-Prince to get to the orphanage. That ought to be interesting with 11 of us, 22 checked bags, plus 22 carry on bags.

9:00pm

Brian wanted us to list the things we saw today:

1). Almost saw a fight at the airport over our luggage. We had been told repeatedly to say "no mesi" in regards to Haitians helping us with our luggage at the airport. We even practiced carrying everything the night before so we knew we could handle it, but when we got there we didn't know "who" exactly was with us and who was against us. Finally, a gentleman came in and ushered us out the door, but not before someone grabbed Stephanie's bags and the men were screaming and shouting over who was supposed to be helping.

2). A dead dog on the side of the road.

3). A woman with only half of her top on so her breast was exposed (sorry, but that's what I saw and then journaled). haha

4). Children walking in urine and feces without shoes on.

Things I smelled today:

1). Trash

2). Sewer

3). My own sweaty butt!!

How I felt today:

1). Sad

2). Overwhelmed

3). Burdened

4). Blessed

5). Surprised

6). Tired

7). Scared

8). Hungry (before Mecula made us the best spaghetti dinner)

HAITI- IMAGINE MISSIONS

When Kevin and I decided to go to Haiti on this mission trip, it was beyond our imaginations of what we would be in store for. I had a mission trip on my Bucket List for quite a long time so this will be a dream come true for me. Something to cross off my list. The name of the mission group we are going with is called "Imagine Missions". It is an orphanage housing 130 children. My passion in life is pediatric nursing so this will definitely be my cup of tea. I have lots of "nerves" going on....... I am a planner, super organized, "don't rock my boat" kind of girl and I've been told that I need to just "go with the flow". Be ready for changes. I'm told the most chaotic time is the airport in Haiti. It can be very chaotic, kids pulling on you begging for money, people wanting to carry your luggage for a fee, etc. You can't. You have to say "No, mesi", i.e. no thank you. If you give money to anybody it opens you up for prey. I would be fine with saying no to an adult, but a child? I will though. It puts your whole group in jeopardy if you do. Once at the orphanage we will have a little bit more free will.
This will be only my 4th. flight so that has me a little nervous too. Don't get me wrong, I actually like to fly, but it's still a little nerve-wrecking to me. We have a lot of donated shoes to take with us so we have to try to get them packed into our checked bags tomorrow night. Each bag will weigh 50 lbs. and we will need to pull 2 each, plus a backpack, plus a carry on. I only weigh 100lbs. so I will be carrying and pulling more than I weigh. That has me a little nervous as well with my bad back self. No, really, I'll be fine. There are lots of people way worse off than me so I can do it. I plan to take lots of pictures to share when I return.
I am hoping I fall so in love with the Haitian people that I will want to return again some day. I am specifically asking for prayer at 11:30am every day until we return. Not just for me and my physical problems (my back), but for our team, that we will share the love of Jesus with others, that God will put people in our path that we need to see and talk to, but also that God will put people in OUR lives that we need to hear from. We want to be a blessing, but we also want to receive a blessing. I am going expecting and IMAGINING GOD showing up and showing out!!! I am so eternally grateful for the opportunity. Thank you friends for the prayers in advance and for helping us get there. You guys are awesome!!
Excited,
Wendy

Emotions and Mother's Day

Mother's Day is this Sunday. I get emotional/tearful when I think about it.

I miss mom terribly.

I keep trying to remind myself how blessed I was to have had her in my life for 36 years. I also think about being a mother to my own daughter and I wonder if I'm mothering her the right way sometimes. I know I could do better at times, but no doubt she knows she is loved. I love being her mother. She is so sweet. She went to Florida last week for Spring Break without her daddy and I (with my sister's in-laws) and I celebrated a birthday while she was gone. She came back with a little necklace she had picked out from somewhere and went to her room, found a small used giftbag, and handed it to me saying "happy late birthday". It looked like a beaded Mickey Mouse and they did go to SeaWorld so I guess she got Mrs. Mary to buy it for her. What a sweetie!! Mary (my sister's mother-in-law) has stepped in to be our "mom". She doesn't even know how much I appreciate the love that she has not only for my sister and her family, but she has loved us just as much. I try to tell her often what she means to me! If I could convince myself to go down the card aisle, I'd buy her a Mother's Day card. I love her!!

We leave for Haiti in 21 days!!! I'm getting excited and nervous all at the same time. I can't believe that I finally get to go on a mission trip. God has so blessed us!! We are almost ready. I need to find a couple more used suitcases to use to leave there. We are not going to return with anything except the clothes on our backs so I want to find old luggage that I won't care that I leave. I've been looking at the Goodwill in our town and did find one, but I need three more. My husband and I need two a piece. We are also taking shoes (used or new) for the orphanage and being a nurse I have a lot of "medical" items that I am donating. A very sweet dentist donated toothbrushes and toothpaste too. We leave on May 24th. Please be in prayer for us, especially now with all that is going on with security in the U.S. It makes me a tad bit more nervous for our safety traveling to a foreign country and leaving my own child here for 9 days.

Thanks for checking in! I will write again soon!
Blessings,
Wendy

Anniversary #13

On April 4, 1998 I married my best friend and high school sweetheart. We celebrated by going camping at Stone Mountain and Kevin made me the neatest video of the beginning of our relationship, wedding, and up til now. I can't figure out how to get it to download. Shoot! It is so cool. It's probably the best present I've ever received. I love you Kevin. More today than yesterday, but not near as much as I will tomorrow. This May we will also be celebrating our 20th. year together. More than half my life. Wow!!

MY GIRl

The whole world should know that my Tori-bug won 4th. place for her age group overall in the whole STATE at her gymnastics meet!!! To say I'm proud of her would be an understatement. She medaled in every event too. Some kids went home with nothing so this is a huge accomplishment. We spent the weekend at Red Top Mtn camping with the family. Even my 19-year-old stepdaughter went. We had not been "together" in over 8 months so this was nice. Since mom passed away my feelings on parent/child (adult) relationships have changed so we needed this family time. Plus, I needed a get-away. The tears still flow freely. My emotions are still very raw. I'm trying to be patient with myself and I know it is normal to still be grieving. I'll post pictures of the 4th. place state win later. Thanks for stopping by!! Wendy

Sunday

Today is Sunday. I should have went to church. I woke up crying so I can't go. Sometimes I'm not even sure what sets me off, but today I was watching the news on the earthquake in Japan and the tsunami that might have hit Hawaii, but didn't. Kevin, Tori, and myself went to Hawaii when Tori was a year old and I promised mom that I would take her someday too. I never did so I guess that's what set me to crying this morning. She would have loved to see the most beautiful place on earth. Really, it is. We plan to go back someday soon. I'm having a hard time today. I wanted badly to go to church, but I couldn't even put my make-up b/c of the crying. My sister wants to do some kind of memorial for mom so we decided to go on a family camping trip. We have a camper, Monica kept mom's pop-up camper, and I'm giving my sister our old tent. Mom loved to camp. She would have loved for us to do this as a family.

I'm going to go back to work tomorrow. I NEED to. I need normalcy and a routine to get back to my life. It must go on. I know there will still be days where I cry and miss her more than others, but hopefully they will get fewer and farther between. I need my friends on days like this. They have been my lifeline as well as my husband. They can't even imagine the ways they have helped me. My husband doesn't know how to help, except be here for me. That's all I need and to talk when I want to. He is sooo good to me.

We are still going to Haiti in May. I feel so much better about going since now I won't have to worry about leaving mom behind not feeling well. I think this will be life-changing for me. I might even do something there in remembrance of my mom. Pediatrics are my life and we are going to an orphanage. I'm scared to death, but now I'm really excited. My prayer is that my back will hold up and I won't be in too much pain while I'm there.

It's supposed to be nice in Georgia today so maybe we will plant some flowers. Mom loved tulips. A weird, God-thing happened on the day mom died. I have a huge tulip tree in my front yards. On Tuesday when mom passed the tulip tree bloomed in huge full blooms. I was a sign to me that she is still with me.

Darn, I almost forgot. Tori-but had a gymnastics meet yesterday and she won first place overall!!! She has never won first. She has come in second lots of times, but she finally got the first place status. I decided not to go so that I could finish the stuff for mom before going back to work, but Kevin recorded it for me. What a blessing and a great accomplishment! To say I was a proud mama is an understatement. I'm sure it was my mama looking down smiling on her and giving her good mojo.

This blog helps me to vent and express my feelings. Thanks for sticking with me and listening. I love you all.

Missing my mama especially bad today,

Wendy

Angel Wings

Mom went to her heavenly reward yesterday at 5:45pm. Oh how I am going to miss her! I'm heartbroken. There will be a great reunion in heaven today. Mom gets to see her mama, daddy, brother, and sister. As well as a lot of other family members. I long for the day that I too get to have that family reunion. I can't imagine seeing Jesus face-to-face the first time. Maybe that is what mom was seeing when she opened her eyes wide and took her final breath.

Thanks for all the love and support the past few weeks! We will always be grateful.

Wendy

Best Friends and Heartbreak

I'm so heartbroken. Mom is not well at all. She is still at my house b/c my sister's house was still being unpacked. Sunday mom had an awesome day. She was awake and alert all day. She had said she was ready to go home to Monica's house so my brother and I went over to try to help Monica get her room ready to receive her back home.
Sunday night she started this really bizarre-sounding breathing. It wasn't like an asthma attack, but that's the only way I know to describe it to someone else. My stepfather and I finally got her to calm down after about an hour-and-a-half. She slept great the rest of the night. I got up and ready for work yesterday and when I went in her room to give her morning meds she looked horrible. I couldn't leave her like that so my sister, C.C. called the nurse. Mom's nurse got here around 9:45am and told us that her resting O2 sat was 84. When she stood (with a lot of help) it went down to 70. We were told that she had tops 2 weeks, but probably less than a week would be more like it.
Mom is and has always been my best friend. My husband is too, but there is nobody like my mama. We planned for her to spend the last days of her life at Monica's where she has been for 2 years, but we couldn't move her yesterday. God's plan is always better. Even though that isn't what we had planned for, it is much better for her to be at my house so she can be with ALL of us. She is getting round the clock morphine and anxiety meds.
I know I serve a BIG God. My strength only comes from Him, but I can't imagine my life without my best friend. My heart feels like it is breaking in to. I'm going to try to focus on the good memories with mom. We went camping together back in November and we had a great time. I don't want mom to struggle to breathe. I want her to go to Heaven peacefully. Please pray for that for me. My uncle Mike (mom's only living brother) was really sick in Nov. and was in ICU on a vent for about 10 days. He is going to try to come down from Virginia on Friday. I bet mom will try to hang on until she sees him. He has COPD really bad too.
I love my mama. I thank God every day that he gave her to me as a mother. It won't be the same without her, but I know I will never say goodbye. I'll see her again one day.

Heartbroken,
Wendy

EVERYTHING

WOW!!! A lot has happened since I last logged in and wrote a post. I didn't realize that it had been so long.

We had a great Christmas with family and friends. Tori-bug kept the miracle of believing in Santa. I was almost hoping that she would ask me, but she didn't so we got to surprise her yet again this year. I think it will be a different story next year as she goes into middle school. Her elf, JOY came again this year on Dec. 1st. For some reason though, she didn't get into a lot of mischief. She did toilet paper Tori's bedroom one morning and also wrote on her bathroom mirror with spray snow. Tori is totally in love with that elf and cried on Christmas Eve night b/c she was having to leave.
We camped the last time the week before Thanksgiving with our best friends, The Corbetts. We tried to get our other set of best friends to go with us, but it didn't work out b/c they had football tournaments. We camped at Vogel and it was sleeting and snowing when we were trying to set up camp. It was brutally cold outside too. I think the temps one morning was in the teens. Nonetheless, we had an awesome time. The kids love being together and so do the adults.

My sister's house is nearly ready to move in after the house fire in July. The new house is absolutely gorgeous. I think they are gonna love it. It has been such a tough time for our family in the past year, but now they will get to move back and have all new stuff. This is an answer to prayer and we feel so blessed that God has continued to provide. Hoping they get to move in in a couple of weeks.

Now, we need even bigger prayers. Mom got sick a couple of months ago with a cold. The whole family had it. They had been going through some of the fire damaged boxes and it was really dusty and still smelled of smoke. The other members of the family got better, but with mom's breathing she didn't. She took several rounds of antibiotics, steroids, nebulizer treatments, and such, but couldn't kick it. She finally went to the doctor 2-1/2 weeks ago and he wanted to admit her. She didn't want to do that b/c she said they would put her on the Bipap machine for her breathing so she refused the admission. He gave her a shot of steroids and a shot of antibiotics. She came home with oral meds as well. That night she started having severe shortness of breath and difficulty breathing so my sister and I took her to the ER. They did admit her and her numbers were really bad. Her oxygen sat was in the 80's and she was really struggling to breath. She asked them to sedate her if she needed the Bipap b/c it makes her feel like she is suffocating. We ended up giving three nebulizer treatments back-to-back-to-back and several other IV meds for breathing and she finally settled down. She was in-patient for 3 nights and 4 days. We came home on Sat. on hospice. This wasn't necessarily a hard decision for us to make b/c her lung specialist has been recommending it for a long time, but we didn't feel it was necessary until this admission. Mostly it relieved me of having to be the nurse and daughter. I can just be a daughter now and let someone else do the nursing stuff. Sat. and Sunday mom looked and felt better than she had in 2 years. I was thrilled. Tuesday evening she started having severe stabbing-like pain in the left side of her chest and a horrible deep cough that was taking her breath. We called the on-call hospice nurse and she felt like mom had broken a rib so we started her on morphine. The morphine was only relieving the pain for a short while then it was coming back so we started giving it to her in a pill form twice a day. She was having to take extra liquid in between too. She got really confused and unsteady on her feet so we made the decision to stop it. She was a lot better with the pain and the cough was all but gone too. We put her back on her regular pain meds and this seems to be working for now. She has to take it every 4 hrs. but that is better than seeing her so out of it on the morphine so we would rather do that. She gets short of breath when walking or getting up and down so she gets anxious. Monica and I have been tag-teaming her. To say it has been a stressful, emotional filled 2 weeks is an understatement. I have spent nearly every day and night crying. I know mom probably won't live very long, but I want her to be comfortable and not confused while she is here. We are taking it day by day. So far, we are making it the best we know how. All of us kids have had our moments, but by God's grace we are still trying to make each day the best it can be.

Kevin and I are going on a mission trip to Haiti at the end of May. Our church youth group is going to an orphanage. I am going to do nursing within the orphanage and my hubby is going to do construction type work. I am really excited but nervous at the same time. It is not very safe in Haiti right now and with my bad back and now mom's health, I am a little more than anxious. We have our trip sponsored. We are so grateful for our loving friends and church family that have helped us and are still helping us. Please pray that mom will be healthy enough for me to go. I don't want to leave the country for 9 days with that hanging over my head. I am counting on God to make those provisions for us and I know He will.

Gymnastics is in full swing. Tori-bug is doing great. We have only had 2 meets so far, but we have one next weekend in Panama City and the following weekend in Pigeon Forge. Hopefully she will do great. That girl loves to flip and flop.

Sorry this post is so long, but since it has been forever I had lots to tell you :-)

Thanks for checking in on us,
Wendy